


No Sweeter Innocence

by drugsandcaandy



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Porn with Feelings, Smut, mostly they just fuck but dani has Emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27796825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drugsandcaandy/pseuds/drugsandcaandy
Summary: "Some people are worth it. Even though they leave, or die, or hurt you, they're worth it for that little bit of beauty. And you- you're worth it."Or, Dani and Jamie's first time, after the night with the moonflowers.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 6
Kudos: 194





	No Sweeter Innocence

They walk back to the manor in silence. It’s still raining, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was- not much more than a drizzle. Dani’s clothes are soaked, and she’s sure Jamie’s are too, but it’s the last thing on her mind at the moment. Besides, if things continue the way they were going, she won’t have to worry about that much longer. 

The thought sends a jolt through her stomach. It’s arousal, most definitely, but it’s so much more than that, and Dani’s not entirely sure if it’s all good. She never thought she’d be here. She never thought she’d be doing _this._

She shouldn’t be. It’s wrong. She had a plan, she was going to go along with everything she was supposed to do, be the perfect girl, the perfect woman, the perfect wife, _his_ perfect wife, and that was the plan but she just had to ruin it and it got him killed, her own filthy desires got him killed, and-

“Poppins. Hey.” Jamie waves a hand in front of Dani’s face. “You alright?”

Dani swallows hard and forces a smile across her face. She’s not sure if Jamie can see it in the dark, but it’s better safe than sorry. A precaution. “Yeah. Totally. Sorry, I was just thinking.” 

They’ve reached the doors of the manor now, and the lights cast an eerie glow over Jamie’s face. She looks concerned. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Jamie says, meeting Dani’s eyes. “You know that? We don’t have to do anything.”

“I know.” Dani’s voice cracks. She does know- she trusts Jamie for some unexplainable reason. He never said anything like that. Things would just _happen,_ and she would feign as much interest as she could, until she couldn’t anymore. “I want this. I want you.” It’s terrifying to say the words out loud. To allow herself to admit that she wants another woman like this. It was always just vague, half-formed fantasies that never really played out beyond a few kisses. 

Jamie opens the door and they step inside. 

Dani walks the path to her room in a sort of trance. Time seems to move slower in those seconds it takes to climb the stairs and walk down the hallway. Maybe it’s the realization of what’s coming when she gets to her room. Maybe it's the realization that actually, Jamie means something. 

With the door locked behind them, Dani turns to face Jamie. She’s shivering, her entire body shaking, and she knows it’s not just from the rain. 

“You’re sure?” Jamie asks again, an eyebrow raised.

“I’m sure.” Dani takes off her jacket and shoes slowly and methodically, as if it’s any other night. Jamie is watching her, taking her own jacket and shoes off, but not in the way Dani’s grown used to be watched- not like she’s a piece of meat placed before some starving animal, but like she’s some rare, beautiful work of art. Dani feels like crying and she’s not entirely sure why. 

Instead, she kisses Jamie again. 

Jamie kisses back with surprising tenderness. The first few times they kissed were filled with so much urgency, passion and desire and the need for more, more, _more._ There's desire, absolutely, but it's unhurried now, low and steady and gentle like the warmth spreading through Dani's body. Jamie reaches up to cup Dani's face and bring it closer and Dani feels tears well up in her eyes.

It's never been like this. She's never wanted anything so much. 

When they break apart, Dani realizes she can feel her pulse drumming in her neck. She feels like she just ran a marathon. She's not sure if it's nerves or excitement or both, but she doesn't care. She doesn't have time to worry. All she can think about is Jamie, and the ache building low in her stomach. 

Dani reaches for the hem of her sweater and hesitates. "What you said earlier," she says, "about the moon flowers. How they're worth it, worth all the work, even though they die, because they're beautiful. You weren't just talking about flowers, were you?"

Jamie rolls her eyes. "Bit of a shit metaphor, really. But no. I wasn't just talking about flowers. Some people are worth it. Even though they leave, or die, or hurt you, they're worth it for that little bit of beauty. And you- you're worth it."

Dani doesn't know how to respond. "You're worth it," she says finally. "No matter what happens, I want this. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything. I used to think- I used to think there was something wrong with me for not wanting the right things. Sometimes I still do. But I don't care. None of that matters to me right now because I just want to keep kissing you, and kissing you, and kissing you, and I don't want anything else."

"You can do more than kiss me," Jamie says with a wink.

"Is that a promise?" Dani pulls her sweater over her head. She doesn't even feel exposed. Jamie's still looking at her like _that_ , her eyes roaming over every inch of Dani's bare skin. She looks like she's just discovered the eighth wonder of the world. "Touch me," she says, more of a command than a request.

"Don't have to ask me twice," Jamie replies, breathless, and pulls Dani to the bed. They collapse together, Jamie on top of her. Jamie runs her hands down Dani's sides. She shivers. It's been so long since someone's touched her, and even longer since someone's touched her like this. Maybe forever. Maybe no one ever has. 

Jamie pulls away, pulls her shirt over her head with lightning speed, and kisses Dani again. She's not wearing a bra. Dani stares more than she'd like to admit. She reaches out, tentatively, her heart pounding, and touches her. Jamie gasps, just enough for Dani to pick up on it. Her stomach flips. She wants to make her do it again. 

She breaks their kiss, her heart pounding. "Wait, wait," she says, breathless, rolls over, and unhooks her own bra, shrugging it off. 

" _Oh,_ " is all Jamie says. "Can I-" she starts, and Dani nods before she can finish her sentence. 

"Yes, whatever it is, yes." She feels like she's going to explode if Jamie doesn't touch her _right now_. Her body burns and she's painfully aware of the growing ache between her legs. She wants, she _needs_ , more than she's ever needed anything before. It's torturous.

Jamie pulls Dani toward her again, and then her hands are on Dani's breasts, not squeezing, just touching, and Dani moans before she even realizes what she's doing.

"Fuck," Jamie mutters, "like that, do you?" 

"I don't- just- hurry up, more, please," she pants, not sure when she got so damn desperate. 

Jamie grins. "Well. Since you asked so nicely." She pops the button on her jeans and shimmies out of them. Dani reaches out to touch her, but Jamie shakes her head, clicking her tongue. "You were the one begging for more, weren't you?" She gestures to Dani's jeans. "Off." 

"Don't have to ask me twice," Dani repeats, smiling. She strips off her jeans, the wet denim clinging to her skin. She makes a split-second decision and, simply to one-up Jamie, pulls off her underwear too.

"Chist, Poppins. Trying to kill me?" Jamie takes her own off and that's it, they're both naked, and this is really, _really_ happening. 

Jamie bends down to kiss her, her body draped over Dani's. Her breasts press into Dani's, their legs tangled together. She's softer than he ever was, even with all her scrapes and scars and calluses. Dani clings to Jamie's back like her life depends on it, her nails digging in. One hand moves from Dani's chest, trailing down her stomach, and suddenly she's even more aware of just how turned on she is. Her legs fall open and Jamie's hand moves lower.

"Are you sure?" Jamie asks, her voice low and soft.

" _So_ sure," Dani says, and she is.

Jamie's hand dips between her legs and Dani gasps. The first touch of her fingers sets her ablaze, her hips twitching up. That's definitely new, something she's barely been able to do to herself. Jamie's fingers move in slow, constant circles, and heat pools in Dani's stomach. 

She's almost afraid she'll scream. She pulls Jamie in and kisses her, tangling her hand in Jamie's hair. She's certainly had practice, much more than Dani. Her fingers keep a consistent rhythm- circles, dip down, circles, down. It's just enough to drive Dani crazy, and she wants so much more. 

Jamie kisses along Dani's jawline, down her neck, and across her shoulders before latching on and nearly biting. There will be marks tomorrow but Dani doesn't care. She wants them. Jamie continues her trail of kisses and hickies, never once stilling the movement of her fingers, and it's only when she reaches Dani's stomach that she realizes what Jamie's doing. 

Jamie nips at Dani's hip bone almost playfully. "You alright? Seem to be having a bit of a difficult time."

"Trying not to- ah- wake the whole house," Dani says with some difficulty. "But it's a little hard with your head between my legs."

"Not quite between yet," Jamie points out. "I can change that, though."

"Yes _please_."

Jamie dips down just a little lower and finally her head is honest-to-God between Dani's legs. Her tongue moves in the same rhythm her fingers were moving just a second before, and her fingers- God, her fingers move inside Dani and hit a spot that sends chills through her whole body. 

"Fuck, God, Jamie, do that again," Dani practically whines, and Jamie curls her fingers against that same spot. It's the most intense pleasure she's ever felt, the combination of the suction on her clit and the fingers inside her, and she feels like she's going to combust. She puts a hand over her own mouth, unable to hold back her moans. Jamie's pace is relentless and Dani knows she won't last much longer. She tangles her free hand in Jamie's hair again, urging her on. "Don't stop, don't fucking stop," she babbles, her own voice almost unrecognizable. 

Jamie seems more than happy to comply, her fingers picking up speed. Every time they curl against her Dani feels it through her entire body. She close, the pressure building between her hips nearly overflowing, and she wants, and needs, and-

Her orgasm crashes over her. She nearly shouts. It's so much more intense than any she's ever felt- she's unwinding, heat flooding her body, reaching from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her hips twitch and her back arches and Jamie _doesn't fucking stop,_ just keeps moving her fingers until Dani pulls away, panting, oversensitive. 

And then Jamie kisses her, and Dani tastes herself on Jamie's lips, and it's enough to send the jolt of an aftershock to her stomach. "Fuck," she gasps, barely able to catch her breath, "You're talented."

"Was it that good?" Jamie asks. Dani nods, eyes wide.

She's done that to herself a few times, and it's felt good, but nothing like this. Sex with him was certainly never anything like it. He was careful not to hurt her, and tried to make sure she felt comfortable, but she did what she was told and screwed her eyes shut and cried _oh baby oh baby_ until he came, and that was it. And that was just what sex was. Nothing like the desire and lust and white-hot pleasure she just experienced.

"It was incredible," she says, surprised to hear her voice breaking. "I've never felt anything like that."

"Hey, now, don't cry," Jamie says. Her voice is so soft, so comforting that it only makes Dani tear up more. She pulls Dani against her chest and holds her. "It's alright. I've got you. You're alright."

"I just- I just never thought I'd get to do this. I never thought I'd get to feel this. I never even let myself imagine it. I never knew sex could be like that." Dani sniffs and wipes her tears away. "It was great. I don't know why I'm crying."

"You can cry if you need to. You're not gonna scare me off that easily." Jamie runs a hand through Dani's hair like they've been in this exact position a thousand times before. "It was an honor to make you feel like that, Dani."

It's the first time since their first meeting that Jamie's called her Dani, not Poppins. It's nice. While she doesn't object to the nickname, it's nice to hear Jamie say her name. Comforting. Safe.

"Someone once told me that the most awkward thing you can say after sex is 'thank you,' but I don't really care. So thank you," Dani says. 

Jamie laughs. "You're more than welcome."

They drift off to sleep like that, Dani in Jamie's arms, and for the first time in a long, long time, she sleeps without nightmares.


End file.
